High Fives and Mustache Rides

Its inevitable...once people get their first apartment with friends the party ideas just start a flowin'. Any excuse to party will do...

"Hey i have high blood pressure!"
"Lets celebrate with a luau!"
"Wooooo!"

Once night in winter sitting at Rock Bottom (RIP)the subject of how amazing mustaches are came up.

Someone simply said "how funny would it be if we all grew mustaches and went to a bar"
It was answered by "That would be hilarious! like 10 guys walking into a bar with mustaches??? HILARIOUS"

And so the mustache party was born.















These pictures really speak for themselves.

“Lack of loyalty is one of the major causes of failure in every walk of life”

Maybe im silly, but i would rather be loyal then be silent.

To openly mock someone whom you claim to respect in front of others for the sake of looking cool and fulfilling some kind of high school fantasy of being the prom queen is sad. Its pathetic and it only makes you look ridiculous.

Let me share with you a statement and i want you to tell me how old you think the speaker of this statement is.

"My friends are THE BESTEST EVER!!!! and if you dont like people commenting on my status(on facebook) then dont look at it. Simple!!"

How old everyone?

14? 15? maaaaybe an immature 16?

NOPE, NOPE AND NOPE.

36 YEARS OLD.

Its just so damn silly.

Will your silly ass friends be there when you fall on your face? Will the 30-somethings who are married and use facebook to flirt with eachother be there for you?

When you use that big fucking mouth of yours to cut the jugular of every family member you have eventually you kill them all off. You can say sorry for your big fucking mouth all you want but words cant be taken back.

When you get caught you immediately bring up something that the other person did years ago. "Well you did this! So whatever!"

What kind of 4 year old fucked up logic is that?

Its like cutting someones head off and getting mad at someone for poking you.

You cut someones head off then get mad at me for poking you.

Man the fuck up and get some help for your unfiltered fucking mouth.

I cant even talk about it anymore.

“I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.”

So i'll begin by letting you all know that i did indeed live through my speech. It went quite well actually!

How well?

A- well.

Soak in it.

Ok... enough about my stellar scholastic abilities...on to the topic at hand. Which actually happens to be my scholastic abilities.

Great segway!

So finally after much deliberating i think i have finally decided what the hell im gonna do with school and career.

I always knew what i wanted to do when i grew up ever since i was the little adorable muffin of a little girl who was always the cop in Cops and Robbers. But with the economy the way it is thanks to good ol' George DUBYA....the chance of becoming a full time cop anytime soon is looking slimmer than Lindsey Lohan is these days. (Yeah...i went there)

So i have always wanted to be a well rounded person when it came to my career choice. I wanted to go to school for the sciences and minor in criminal justice so that i can get a job in a crime lab while i wait for full time police work to come my way. That way ill be in the field and then be available with much credentials when that time arose. Its brilliant.

So after talking to my cousin who is a Detective for the Bellingham police department i decided that after graduating from BCC this year i am going to transfer to UMASS Boston in the Fall. They hav an amazing anthropology program and Dr. Bill Bass has been known to speak there before. I guess thats pretty sweet. He's only my hero. I was sold right there.

Im gonna take a look at campus soon...i like to know the vibe of the place ill be spending almost every waking hour at.

I was very excited about this revelation last night. I like to know what im doing with my life.

Im off to work my lame job at Starbucks now.

Suddenly all that planning seems soooo far away.

Ciao!

"There are only two types of speakers in the world. 1. The nervous and 2. Liars. " -- Mark Twain

Mark Twain is a smart son of a bitch.

Ok....so Im giving a speech in 3 hours at school.

I literally think i have a phobia of speech giving. I mean...im having some serious Britney Spears sized issues right now. Im about to shave my head and assault some paparazzi.

Now I have given plenty of presentations at school in my criminal justice classes and although yes, i hate them and dread them...once im up there im ok and the anxious feeling isnt nearly as bad as the one i am experiencing thinking about this speech.

I think its because i have never had to give a speech i wrote. The thought of reciting a speech that i penned in a set amount of time (only 3 minutes) is literally paralyzing to me. Im Christopher Reeve right now.

I dont care what these people think. I know the world will not end and i will not die as a direct result of this speech. I realize that and have a firm grasp on the reality of the situation. But i am still terrified.

Its irrational. Its silly. Its damn inconvenient...but its completely outside of my control at the moment. Fear has the wheel of my brand new car and is hogging the radio and instead of asking fear to kindly switch seats with me and possibly explore the idea of using the ipod adapter to play some tunes because i hate the radio, i have chosen to enjoy the feelings of nausea instead.

I probably lost you with that elaborate image but my incoherent babbling only showcases the amount of crazy i feel right now!

And i really do hate the radio.

Quick dictionary shout out....im a statistic!

Glossophobia or speech anxiety: It is believed to be the single most common phobia — affecting as much as 75% of the population. Fear of oration is ranked even above that of death.

Symptoms include:

* intense anxiety prior to, or simply at the thought of having to verbally communicate with any group, (GOT IT)
* avoidance of events which focus the group's attention on individuals in attendance, (GOT IT)
* physical distress, nausea, or feelings of panic in such circumstances. (GOT IT)



UGH! I would honestly rather chew on razorblades right now.

3 minutes of speaking is going to feel to me like Jack and Rose felt freezing their little hineys off on that piece of driftwood waiting for death or rescue.

Except no one is rescuing me....but i may die. Waaaaaaaaah.

Wish me luck.

Socials....its kinda like an abbreviation.

So im watching The City on mtv...

Dont judge.

I just got home from working my job at Starbucks of all places and im about to call someone an uber douchebag. Excuse me while i rinse off the hipocracy that is drippping out of my ears.

That's neither here nor there...

So im watching The City. This chick Whitney is the new gal in New York and works for a fashion designer amongst super douchebags. One super douchebag girl is explaining to her the ropes, if you will. She points out that theres two groups...or "scenes" there in New York amongst people she knows...get ready now....

She refers to the group that is not hers as the "downtown hipsters"

Legit.

It gets better.

She then says..."we are the uptown socials."

Legit.

Hard to believe...but it gets even better.

So Whitney (new girl) says "What is that like...socialites?"
And the girl responds, "Yeah...like...its an abbreviation kinda."

Oh my head.

I just served assholes lattes and cappacinos for 6 hours and now im subjecting myself to this shit? Im surprised my brain isnt the consistency of cottege cheese...

Oh excuse me...Perez Hilton just sent me a text message to update me on Katy Perry's new haircut.

CIAO!

Men, Maggots and Murder...

Im sure every criminal justice student questions their sanity and the presence of their souls after they have made it to the point where they are sitting in a dark classroom watching a slideshow of pictures showcasing decomposing and gruesome murder and suicide victims.

Im sorry...its interesting as hell.

As two detectives took hold of my Criminal Investigations class and showed us every aspect of the work i intend to do...and i mean EVERY aspect...all i could think was "man...i cant wait to do this shit."

Thank god john was also a criminal justice major and is interested in this stuff. I make him watch enough of The First 48 to make anyone lose whatever optimism they ever had.

Last night i got sucked into the show Rookies, while he played online poker (in prep for Foxwoods...*rolls eyes*)

This 24 year old girl was on her first day of the job and was called to a possible grave at a construction site.

There was like 4 bones from about a million years ago that this bitch had to put into a bag....and in true form, giving women cops a bad name she slapped on some gloves and did it the girly way. She held each one out about 2 miles in front of her and said "ew ew ew ew ew" as she placed them in bags. She then looked at the camera and said "i'd much rather deal with a recent dead body then one that has been dead for years."

...

Are you fuckin' kidding me?

Does anyone have a recently deceased tub of human jellatinous goo that we can toss at this woman?

So you would rather hang out with a decomposing, maggot and blowfly infested, lividity ridden, bloated, rancid, smelling dead body? As opposed to a pile of things that could be mistaken for rocks?

Thats a top police work right there.

Her FTO asked her if she had ever seen a recent dead body and she said "No."

Wow lady so that last statement you made was really informed huh?

Asshole.

Viva Las Vegasss...

So its been a long winter.

I realize it isnt over yet but in my mind it is.

Because of my delusions of greenery and sunlight John and i decided that its about damn time for a vacation. And no not one to Maine or Connecticut....Im talkin V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N.

We discussed a few places...John suggested Alaska which i vehemately shot down...because vampires bent on an uninterrupted orgy of destruction show up there and might mistake me for one of their own and....well....its Alaska.

So we discussed the posibilities of a cruise which while amazing, will absolutely make me vomit and i need to prep a little more for THAT kind of fun.

So after a while i became the best girlfriend ever and suggested the holy grail of all vacations.

Las Vegas.

And i saw John's little eyes light up and after he named all the reasons why Vegas
was INDEED an amazing idea, i could tell he had been thinkig it the whole time and just didnt want to be that guy who drags his girlfriend to sin city.

Well hitch a trailor hook on me.

Hey anywhere i can be in paris, new york and egypt all at once is the place i wanna be.


Anyone know any good deals? I think ill go search it out. It will make me feel like its really happening....


Viva Las Vegas!

Cheers!