"There are only two types of speakers in the world. 1. The nervous and 2. Liars. " -- Mark Twain

Mark Twain is a smart son of a bitch.

Ok....so Im giving a speech in 3 hours at school.

I literally think i have a phobia of speech giving. I mean...im having some serious Britney Spears sized issues right now. Im about to shave my head and assault some paparazzi.

Now I have given plenty of presentations at school in my criminal justice classes and although yes, i hate them and dread them...once im up there im ok and the anxious feeling isnt nearly as bad as the one i am experiencing thinking about this speech.

I think its because i have never had to give a speech i wrote. The thought of reciting a speech that i penned in a set amount of time (only 3 minutes) is literally paralyzing to me. Im Christopher Reeve right now.

I dont care what these people think. I know the world will not end and i will not die as a direct result of this speech. I realize that and have a firm grasp on the reality of the situation. But i am still terrified.

Its irrational. Its silly. Its damn inconvenient...but its completely outside of my control at the moment. Fear has the wheel of my brand new car and is hogging the radio and instead of asking fear to kindly switch seats with me and possibly explore the idea of using the ipod adapter to play some tunes because i hate the radio, i have chosen to enjoy the feelings of nausea instead.

I probably lost you with that elaborate image but my incoherent babbling only showcases the amount of crazy i feel right now!

And i really do hate the radio.

Quick dictionary shout out....im a statistic!

Glossophobia or speech anxiety: It is believed to be the single most common phobia — affecting as much as 75% of the population. Fear of oration is ranked even above that of death.

Symptoms include:

* intense anxiety prior to, or simply at the thought of having to verbally communicate with any group, (GOT IT)
* avoidance of events which focus the group's attention on individuals in attendance, (GOT IT)
* physical distress, nausea, or feelings of panic in such circumstances. (GOT IT)



UGH! I would honestly rather chew on razorblades right now.

3 minutes of speaking is going to feel to me like Jack and Rose felt freezing their little hineys off on that piece of driftwood waiting for death or rescue.

Except no one is rescuing me....but i may die. Waaaaaaaaah.

Wish me luck.